The last time I wrote a post was MONTHS ago, and I apologize. It was a rough time to say the least. But I’m back from a relaxing spring break that gave me time to refocus and think, and I realized that I definitely want to keep this blog going. So, this post is a general life update on the major things that lead up to this point, and it will also set up a pattern from here on out!
Here we go…
I stressed myself out A LOT last semester. It was the first time I took an upper-level economics class, and I let the courses intimidate me. My GPA took a hit, which caused more stress, and my confidence as a whole went down. All of that, combined with being off campus, led to a decrease in exercise (“I’m too busy!”) and an increase in stress eating. I didn’t feel great AT ALL, but I kept up with my bi-weekly counseling sessions up until the semester ended.
I survived though, and the world did not end with a few bad grades and a few good grades to balance them out. Overall, I enjoyed being home for winter break. It was good to be with the family again! My eating still wasn’t so great, but I exercised more, played with my dogs, went out with my friends, and it was nice.
Sadly, the week before classes began, my dog of 12 years passed away. Lex was a good boy, and we all miss him a lot. I still feel upset when I think about him, but I have a lot of happy memories of him that I look to when I start feeling down. Lots of love for that dear dog.
Look at that smile! Plus one of many forced selfies I made him take…
Later that week I got a tattoo. My grief over Lex was the impetus, but I had wanted one for awhile. I just realized that time wasn’t stopping – so what was I waiting for? I went down to the tattoo shop, talked to the artist about my ideas, and he came up with a killer design. It took 2 hours and it hurt like HECK. The ribs were the worst, and I couldn’t sleep on my side for month!! But it was worth it.
There’s some symbolism to it all, and I have zero regrets about it. In a way, I’m glad that I went on my own – I saved myself the embarrassment of people seeing me cry, but it was also an experience that is uniquely my own. The tattoo is not fully complete – I will be getting color done later on down the line – but it’s the real deal.
Since then, we’ve started a new semester and things have still been somewhat rocky. I participated in a test group for a program called “The Body Project” hosted by Rice’s Wellbeing Office. I am really grateful that I got to meet other people who were working through similar body image issues. It was helpful to have an open place to talk about what we were going through, as well as have other people offer their perspectives and advice.
I’ve also been trying to preempt my stress before it gets out of hand. I went to the Wellbeing Office to talk about my worries and problems before I reached a point of distress – where it started impeding on my daily activities. It’s another resource specific to the Rice campus that I recommend, but I’ll talk more in-depth later.
To sum it all up: I feel like I am in a better place than I was last semester, or even a week ago before spring break. I am ready to finish out the semester in a strong and positive way. Current goals include staying on top of my school work, gaining control over my emotional eating, finding ways to relax, and working on other “healthy” habits (this blog being one of them).
I hope you all are doing well! I’m sending lots of good vibes your way. And as always, I am here if you want to talk about anything!