My Story

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Hello friends! Ariel is my name, and living healthy is my aim. But for a very long while, I went down a path that wasn’t healthy at all. Before jumping into the wonderful world of blogging, I’d like to share my story with you.

Before high school, I was at my highest weight and noticeably unhealthy. Through four years of varsity tennis, my father’s own weight-loss success (over 100 pounds – go Dad!), and my family’s transition to low-carb eating, I reached my lowest weight and my peak physical condition by my senior year. I did experience bouts of low self-esteem and I struggled with body image, but those years were all-in-all the healthiest I ever had.

I did have one episode, following the end of my first relationship, in which I spent a week exercising excessively and skipping random meals. That is, until I fainted twice in the same day, bumped my head on the way down, and ended up in the emergency room for dehydration and a head wound. As the doctors brushed liquid stitches on my forehead and pumped me full of saline solution, I made a promise that I would never go to such extremes again.

If only! Once college began and the homesickness set in, I sought solace in food. I put on a few pounds – but in my head, it felt more like a ton. I started working out out at the gym excessively (again). Even worse, I began binge-eating. I might go to the gym the next day, and burn myself out as a punishment, but I’d still binge and I’d still feel guilty.

Second semester, I made the choice to lose the weight. But for me, that meant severe calorie restriction, hearkening back to the summers of high school when I would strive to stay trim for tennis. I lost a lot of the weight, but an accomplishment like that doesn’t mean much when you still don’t like yourself.

I ended up going to the other extreme – partying on weekends, eating way too much, crying all the time. I thought I was overweight, I thought no one would like me, and I was just so ashamed. After talking with a close friend, he mentioned that I was probably one of the most-likely candidates for bulimia nervosa. Little did he know, it wasn’t for lack of trying. I had already tried abusing laxatives, and for a few weeks – particularly after a large binge, or if I was upset – I had attempted to force vomiting.

One night, I did it. Coughing, eyes stinging, and throat on fire, the gravity of the situation finally hit me. I was headed down a truly dark, unhealthy path that could wreak more than emotional havoc.

But I knew that person wasn’t me, or who I wanted to be. Since that point in time, I’ve taken steps to regain my life and my control over food. I’ll be honest: even years later, some days are still tough. There are days when I eat way too little (or way too much!). Some workouts I burn more than I mean to, and act like I don’t need to adjust my calorie intake. Sometimes I just get really sad or lonely, and the bingeing comes back. Then the guilt sets in, and I want to undo everything. But we can’t go back, only forward – so why waste time on shame or tears or things of the past?

I want this blog to be a place of support and motivation for everyone. For people like me, who were or are on the precipice of a life-consuming eating disorder, for those that struggle to find their personal balance, and for anyone in between. Every day is a battle, but I promise you aren’t alone.

Join me as we head towards health and happiness, one day at a time!

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Categories: My Story | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “My Story

  1. A friend.

    Hi, you’re amazing!

  2. Beth

    Gad that you decided to share your story ❤

  3. You are awesome, girlfriend!!! Bookmarking you right now!

  4. Gabbi

    I came here from TNO~ I admit I was a little surprised, because you are one of my healthy idols! I’ve struggled with eating too in lots of ways, and unfortunately been in the position of fainting or otherwise incapacitated as my body shut down due to extreme dieting more than once, even though every time you think you’ve learnt your lesson! The hardest part for me is every day when I look at a photo of me with my friends or look in the mirror, I see a different weight. Its bizarre because I think so many body shapes look amazing on ladies, but my own body image is so warped I find it difficult to be positive about it.

    I was going to say something else but I’m tired out from exams @__@ just remember you’re really beautiful and soo good at being healthy and mistakes are a part of life, it’s important not to let them get the better of you. I’ll be reading!

  5. Anon

    I see you around Rice a lot, and I must say, you are completely gorgeous. I only wish I could find out how gorgeous you are on the inside.

    • Say hello sometime…I like to think I’m a friendly person! 🙂 I have no idea who this is, but your kind words are very much appreciated. Thank you!

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